The Academy Awards Of Porn

Every year, porn starlets from far and wide descend upon Las Vegas for the AVN Awards, which is otherwise known as the Academy Awards of Porn.

What makes the porn awards different than the Oscars, other than the hardcore sex, the bad acting, and poor production, is that as it’s very difficult to get nominated for an Academy Award and it’s incredibly easy to get nominated for a porn award.

The nominations are in! And here’s a look at some of the top nominees of the year:

Best Feature: “Malice in Lalaland”
This “Alice in Wonderland” meets “Boogie Nights” flick is shot on 35 mm, not video. Producers call it “an adult movie with mainstream ambition.” Not too mention a scene where Ron Jeremy gets shot which wearing a track suit and a hot bunny girl on girl action scene.

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Best Parody-Comedy: “The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody”
This time around, the dude has a giant dick and this is his story: bowlers, dudes, porn lovers.

Best All Girl Group Sex Scene: “An Orgy of Exes”
I’m sure you can gather from the title what this one is about; the fantasy of a group of guys where all of their exes get together and have one great big lesbian orgy.

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Best 3D: “This Ain’t Avatar XXX 3D”
Who wouldn’t want to see two people having sex in 3D, even if it’s between two blue people.

Crossover Star of the Year: Penny Flame
This award is for the performer who gets the most mainstream attention and this one goes to “Celebrity Rehab” star Penny Flame who left porn behind and got clean, enrolled in college and turned her life around.

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Male Performer of the Year: Prince Yahshua
This prince was tragically injured in a terrible reverse cowgirl attempt fone wrong and he actually broke his penis. This guy definitely deserves this award

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