Bad in Bed: Damage Control

So you’ve met someone you’re into and you can’t wait to fuck the living daylights out of them. That is – until you get into their pants and they start doing some kind of silly buggers game that does not do anything for you. What gives?

There’s no nice way to tell someone they’re bad at kissing or suck at blow jobs, but the most effective approach is to make it about you. Start by telling them they are a wonderful kisser, blower, fucker, fister, or whatever is most applicable to your situation.

The most important thing to remember is to make” I” statements. This will allow you to help your partner get involved with raising up his or her skill level without saying that’s what you’re doing. Tell them you want to teach them how to blow or fuck or kiss you the way you want to be blown, fucked or kissed. Just tell them; give them the option of doing it right.

We all generally have fragile egos. Sometimes, though, we believe that they’re even more fragile than they really are. In all likeliness, your partner wants to make whatever it is they are doing work for you, and doesn’t think they’re the reincarnation of the world’s greatest porn star. Most people have learned ways that work for them and if your partner is tuned and you use the right kind of language about your own experience, they should be able to recognize that what you’re doing is best for both of them.

Talk in specifics and walk them through what you want. Break it down and show them step by step what works. Once they understand that they can pick it up more naturally and move from there. Whatever chemistry got you to where you are should work in tandem with these tips you provide. There was something that drew you together, and if you can get your physical needs to line up with them, you should be bouncing off the walls, or pussies and cocks, in no time.

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