I’m starting to question my own sanity. Or the legitimacy of my own perversities possibly? I don’t know, you decide…
Smut peddlers. Purveyor’s of porn. God’s gift to all nakedkind. We pride ourselves in being a fun tube site. Where else can you download or watch your most favoritest smut, select amongst our vast assortment of porn, including free adult clips broadcasted throughout the internets, and do it with a nasty smile on your face? We love this shit. You love this shit. We’re a match made in heaven, you and me. You want naked people doing things to each other, sometimes with strange objects sometimes not, and I whole heartedly want to give it to you. Period.
Anyway…seeing as how this is my job, I see slamming body parts all day, every day…and most nights in my sleep. If my wife had a dollar for every time I came home and said “Honey? We gotta try this…!” she’d have way more money in her purse than she has now. That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense cuz I don’t know where the dollars would be coming from…but that’s a different matter all together.
My finger is on the pulse of internet porn. My eyes and ears retain a wealth of candy for the senses. If it’s been shot…both literally and figuratively, I’ve probably seen it.
So riddle me this Batman…
HOW is it that mainstream nudity, however slight…however teasing, can still make me sweat?
Case in point: I finally saw James Cameron’s Avatar over the weekend. Yes, the movie with the blue people and the planet that’s so beautiful it’s causing depression amongst the more moronic on Earth. I loved the movie and will say, though this is not intentionally a movie review, that though it’s not a new story it’s told in a way thats very fresh and exciting. I gulped the Avatar kool-aid and kept going back for more.
Zoe Saldana, who played Uhura in the newest Star Trek movie plays Neytiri, a planet Pandora native who shows the new guy around and introduces him to the cultures of her people. Thing is, she does this topless. Throughout the whole movie she, and all the other Pandora inhabitants, are without shirts. They wear beaded necklaces with leaves and feathers and such, so there’s not ALWAYS a nipple shot, but when it’s there….trust me, it’s there.
And I couldn’t avert my eyes each and every time. Seriously.
Now maybe it’s because these boobs are blue. That very well could be, because I don’t know about you, but I would certainly like to see some blue boobies in my lifetime.
This experience made me think and I realized that it’s not just Avatar that makes me feel this way. It’s any PG-13 or R rated exhibition that comes along. It doesn’t matter how much porn I see during the day…or free adult movies I serve up, or production shoots I happen to be on…any little blouse peeker or flash of skin gets my attention in a big way. Let’s not even mention a full frontal that the MPAA decides not to cut, I get all flustered and turn into a 12 year old who’s just stolen his first magazine from his father’s prized collection. The breath holds still and the heart skips a beat as if it’s the first set of breasts or unpantied girly part I’ve ever bore witness too. I don’t get it, but I guess i’m damn happy about it. And willing to bet I’m probably not alone…
In the meantime…”Honey, you got any blue facepaint handy?”
Tags: Avatar