Click To Enlarge
Masturbation is the act of pleasuring oneself sexually.
I could fill a hundred pages writing about masturbation, but they’d all be stuck together.
Masturbation is the greatest gift that having opposable thumbs have bestowed on man. For a lot of men, it is a daily part of their lives, and an important component of their sexuality. There were a lot of years in high school, and some long patches in my post-education years when masturbation was the only thing that kept me sane.
Let’s face it: when you’re not getting any, you got to please yourself!
For the first few years, when I hit puberty, I was masturbating at least three times a day, and up to five or six times. You could snap my socks in half, they’d be so dried with my cum. Luckily for the laundry machine, I switched to Kleenex for clean up.
I’d masturbate in my bed, in the shower, in the restrooms in diners, in the garage, and anywhere else I could be alone. When I was sixteen, I cut a hole in the pocket of my track pants, and would masturbate as I walked across the field to my high school. I had a little problem, but I’m much better now. Well, a little better anyway.
At first I only masturbated with a dry hand. Then I discovered lube. For any guys out there who are dry-hand masturbating, I suggest you go out and get yourself a tube of lube. It costs five bucks, but it’s a million times better than dry-handing it. It’s a messier clean-up, but it feels more like a wet pussy than your callused dry palm does.
And for all you girls out there, let me say this: keep masturbating! Masturbate in front of your man, if you’ve got one. There is nothing hotter than watching a woman bring herself to climax through masturbation. Plus, it’ll give him some pointers on how to stimulate you when he’s touching you downstairs. If you really want to make him happy, film yourself masturbating, and watch it while you’re making love together. He’ll flip his lid!
Oh, and guys, ‘There’s Something About Mary’ is right – you should always masturbate before a big date. Squeeze the baby batter out, and you’ll be much more relaxed!
1. Tom knew that his older sister loved to engage in masturbation while she was taking a bath. He also knew that his friends would pay to see her masturbating in the bathtub. So he set up a camera inside an empty shampoo bottle and made enough money to buy himself a car. He needed it to drive to a new city and change his name, because his sister will kill him if she ever finds him.
2. Christy loved masturbation because her husband had no idea how to make her orgasm. She’d masturbate while he fucked her mouth, and that was how she got through her fifty year marriage to him. Well, that and Valium.
RELATED TERMS: