Well, the hotel owner decided the best book for his establishment was Fifty Shades of Grey. Yup, E.L. James’ New York Times bestselling BDSM erotica will soon be in all 40 guest room night tables. Guests will now be able to curl up with some soft core porn reading before bed.

The local vicar has publicly denounced the move, calling it a gimmick. Other than the vicar, reports state that feedback within the UK is generally favorable. Meanwhile, the hotel owner has apparently been receiving more than a few emails from the US quoting scripture and even threatening him. Apparently, we just can’t handle porn on our side of the Atlantic.

Either way, I know where I’ll be staying next time I visit the United Kingdom.

So what is Fifty Shades of Grey? Well, for starters, it’s a book. Yes, with words. We know, we know…reading is so hard. However, that hasn’t stopped women from jumping all over it like a fat kid on smarties. In fact, some people are even referring to it as “mommy porn” because it’s been so popular with women.

What is this crazy book about? In a word: sex. It describes the BDSM relationship between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. She’s a young college graduate and he’s a billionaire. They have sex. Lots and lots of sex. The sex is described in great detail and housewives are eating it up.

Why do we care about this? More importantly: why should you care about Fifty Shades of Grey? Well, because if this book is any indication, your wife/girlfriend/friendly neighborhood fuck buddy (Hi Gladys!) may just have some naughty fantasies up her sleeve that she’s not telling you about. Yup, just think about it: she could be fantasizing about you taking her roughly from behind and you don’t even know about it.

Shareholders of  XXX media company forced their CEO out after allegations of embezzlement surfaced. Milton plans on extracting his revenge on those who stripped him of his company by sparing no details in his memoir. The book and movie that will follow, chronicle his rise to the top of the pussy film industry.

Should be juicy. If I spent my formative years shaping Private Media Group I’d make sure to bang all the porn stars I could get my hands on, like Hailey Young. I’d probably call the book, “My Sex Adventures With Porn Pussy”. Don’t laugh. When you write your XXX memoirs you can call it whatever you want. This is my fake book!

Milton’s father started the company in 1965. It began as a porn mag but blossomed into the palace of pussy it is today. The only thing my dad ever started was a bag of chips that blossomed into an ulcer. He also claimed to have seen a UFO in our backyard. Sure dad. Have another Natty Ice. Anyway, Berth’s book should be something considering Private Media Group is Europe’s premier sex peddler. The book/movie combo is scheduled for release in 2013. Can’t wait!

There is a sex Genie and he’s giving you the option of banging Brittany Spears or Gauge, who are you going to go for? Ok, well if it’s up to those two, I think most people who know Gauge would go with her. That star is a real champ and has a hot face, especially in comparison with the beat body and average mug of Spears.

You choose. Would you rather have this?

The lovely Gauge

Or this?

Britney Spears

Yeah…the choice seems pretty clear. What if you’ve got Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson though? Jenna is over the hill now and appears to have a lot of emotional baggage. Plus playing the bongoes on Kim’s ass cheeks would get you free beers and high fives at most bars.

Play the bongoes, or…

Kim Kardashian

Hold her when she starts crying.

Jenna Jameson

The last thing to consider is the actual sex. Who’s going to be a better fuck? Will Lindsay Lohan try really hard to give you a good blow job?  More likely the slob will fall asleep while you’re pounding away. Unlike Lela Star, who will be bending over backwards (literally) to make sure you cum like a rocket.

Is she going to work  at getting you off?

Classy Lindsay Lohan

Or will she?

Lela Star

At the end of the day, bragging rights are one thing, but when it comes to an actual good time in the sack, a porn star is always the best bet.

In the world of international politics it is an open secret that diplomats are spies as well as negotiators. It is part of the job of the diplomat to gain as much intelligence on the host country as he possibly can. Sometimes this may involve fucking another diplomat.

Hooking up with an aide in an embassy or some other select position could potentially yield a great deal of useful information for the country that employs the diplomat. While the diplomat is representing his nation he’s always looking for valuable clues that could point him in the direction of possible sources of information and he may well pass that on to the intelligence agencies of his country. They in turn may begin checking that persons background, looking for a way in. A way in is a way in which they can open that person up for intelligence uses. It may be Free sex or money. It could be any number of things. The intelligence agencies as well as the diplomat must probe for weaknesses in their character and other means by which they can exploit the person. They may have an inordinately large appetite for Free sex in which case the intelligence agency will simply furnish them with the perfect temptation. They may be heavily in debt and the intelligence agency offer to pay that debt for them. It could be that that person wants to defect in which case it too might be discussed depending on the value of the intelligence that person has to offer. It is basically the job of the diplomat to be the eyes, ears, and mouth of the country that employs him and this means doing his best to find every advantage he can. Then he passes it on and his government decides how best to use that advantage.

Sometimes it is a game of the deadly serious while others it is a more relaxed and openly known game such as might be the case between friendly nations.

The writer isn’t always getting their jollies writing about cock and pussy all the time. They’re constructing sentences and forming literary movement and paying attention to grammatical flow. They edit and rewrite and sound things out. In short, it becomes a job just like any other writing gig they might receive. It’s a job and they have to deliver a professional product to it’s destination. They can’t skimp and they can’t turn in a half baked job to their boss or their editor. They’re likely to receive at best a reprimand and at worse, they’re looking for a new job. That hot steamy story you just read about porn star April O’Neil was probably approached very clinically by the writer who’s only joy came from their editor with a pat on the back and a good job, then it was on to the next project. Now this doesn’t go to say that writers don’t get any enjoyment or arousal out of what they write but any joy comes secondary to the job.

It is a job, and that job demands concentration and professionalism so these obligations have to be met first before they can, like you, sit back and enjoy what they read. There are hazards also that have to be watched for. It doesn’t do your writer any good to have their characters getting into some game of twister where the sexual positions are pushing the boundaries of anatomical possibility you see. If Jack is going to be doing Jill then the writer has to answer a few questions first. Does the action flow smoothly? Is it realistic? Would real people do these things or find them pleasurable? Only after these questions have been answered can your writer turn to the joy.

Sometimes, try as we may to concentrate and get our work done in a timely manner, we find ourselves distracted and diffused, and we suddenly end up on some of the many available online adult oriented websites that are out there on the Internet before we know it. And once we arrive there, it can be so so hard to pull ourselves away from all of that fabulous, lovely porn. But since we do still have to earn a living and support ourselves, we somehow manage to extricate ourselves from the wonders of the flesh, and to get back to whatever the hell it was that we were supposed to be working on and paying attention to.

For better or worse for our careers, the world wide web contains more free sex and free porn videos than we quite know what to do with. We can spend hours and hours surfing through them and still never even scratch the surface of just what is out there for us to discover and enjoy. Clicking on just one website will provide us with links to hundreds and hundreds of other websites, and we can just go on and on in this way until we either become exhausted or we realize that we are just on the edge of being fired from our positions.

So, yes enjoy the fantastic porn on the world wide web, but try to keep a balance in your life so that you do not lose your livelihood in the process.

Asian porn has become pretty legendary among porn enthusiasts. Long before any other porn market was open to many of the niche markets of various fetish and kinky interests, Asian porn was exploring every possible sexual interest known to mankind. The Asian porn market has long been known to be the innovators when it comes to sex and pornography. It’s funny though, for all the kink and fetish and unusual sexual interests that the Asian porn industry is willing to delve into, quite a bit of Asian porn has people’s genitals blurred out. There are laws in Japan that forbid showing genitals and pubic hair, so that area is blurred even when there is no penetration. It may seem odd to some people that there is such willingness to explore so many unusual sexual adventures yet the country has obscenity laws that require that film makers not show the genitals of the cast.

Other popular forms of Asian pornography are hentai and adult video games. Hentai is a Japanese slang term for sexually explicit comics and animation, such as anime and manga. Hentai is extremely popular all around the world. The censorship laws in Japan discourage visible genitalia even in hentai. In spite of the fact that the characters are cartoons, the genitals and pubic hair is blurred even in the cartoons, animation and video games. In the US, the characters are required to appear to be obviously over 18, but the genitalia can be visible. In Japan, the characters can take on an obviously child-like quality, but the genitals must be blurred. That is just one example of the difference in censorship laws from country to country.

One clear benefit of Asian porn and hentai is that it tends to target a lot of different demographics, including material targeted specifically toward women. In the US, porn is predominantly targeted toward men, although the market for porn geared toward the female buyer is growing steadily.

By all accounts it seems that the three pirates had something of a Sex and business partnership going between them. Apparently neither girl minded sharing captain jacks cock nor their pussy with each other. For several years they were among the most affluent and successful pirates in the Caribbean until they came to grief amid much scandal as well as confusion. The official story is that captain Jack and his male crew were all sleeping off the drink down below when the Royal Navy came calling and only the brave and erstwhile women were left to defend the ship, calling the men cowards even as they were surrounded and captured by the British authorities. They were sentenced to hang but both pleaded they were with child, both pregnant with Captain Jacks baby, and thus their sentences were commuted to short terms in prison before they were released to the custody of family.

While the history books do not report it there were probably quite a few women involved with piracy that didn’t get much press. This could be for a number of reasons such as those books that they were reported in never got press or never made it this far down the time line and were thus lost to history. It could be that there were enough women involved that it simply didn’t rate as news and Captain Jacks story is only known because of the unusual love triangle. Whatever the reason it’s as certain now as it was then that Sex appeal definitely followed those women who plied their pirates trade.

Language is a powerful thing. The right word at the right time can send someone over the edge to phenomenal orgasmic bliss. The wrong word could send a person right back down to zero. Forgetting someone’’s name and calling them the wrong one is not a good idea either!