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Water sports are not what you think, and they are not something that only rich people play, like Polo. Water sports refer to sexual acts that involve urination or enemas, where perhaps one partner pees on another partner’s face, or shoots a bottle of Gatorade up their partner’s anus shortly before climaxing.
The world of water sports is a messy, dangerous place, but it is also extremely satisfying. There are so many different techniques, games, competitions, and fluids that one can use during water sports, that is ensures a healthy active sex life for you and your partner, so long as your partner likes urine too. If they aren’t into water sports, you might have a problem.
One of the most common water sport techniques is an oldie, but a goodie, known as ‘the golden shower.’ In this move, one partner urinates on someone else’s face, who is traditionally lying on their back on a plastic covered mattress (trust me, cat owners all over the world will tell you that a plastic sheet is necessary. Nothing gets the smell of urine out of a mattress).
The golden shower was popularized even further by the movie Team America, which depicted a scene where two marionettes gave each other golden showers and Cleveland steamers while Bon Jovi played in the background. Another individual who is responsible for making the Golden shower and water sports even more popular was infamous American rapper, R Kelly. Of course, it is important to remember that most water sports should not be played by anyone under the age of 18, and if you simply urinate on a young girl, it doesn’t make it a fetish sport; it makes it sexual assault.
Enemas are also very popular techniques used during water sporting, which involve one partner shooting liquids into the rectum of a partner, causing the intestines to swell, and forcing them to expel their bowels almost immediately. Not surprisingly, this type of water sport is also popular among Brazilian fecal-fetishers, giving them quick and easy access to a mouthful of their partners shit. In fact, it is rumored that before the filming of 2 girls 1 Cup, both actresses were given 5L enemas with red bull and truck stop coffee, which is what caused that waterfall of feces.
Another popular water sport that girlfriends and wives have fun with if their men aren’t circumcised, is the ‘water balloon.’ During oral sex, the woman fills her mouth up with hot water, pinches the tip of the man’s penis as she forms the foreskin into what resembles the mouthpiece of a balloon, and then blows all of the hot water up his foreskin. It sounds farfetched, but it works; his penis will inflate like a cartoon elephant’s trunk when it drinks up an entire swimming pool. It doesn’t really feel pleasurable for the man or the woman, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun after a night of drinking.
1. If you’re going to get into water sports, make sure you keep your balls well trimmed and your anus bleached. There’s nothing worse than a mouthful of shitty, hairy water.
2. When my wife first asked me if I was into water sports, I thought she meant Polo. Lucky for me, she happens to LOVE golden showers.
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