Chrystal Rose is successful author, businesswoman and blogger. She recently wrote a book Unfaithfully Yours: Confessions of a Cheating Bitch which was described as Tucker Max meets Chelsea Handler. Dave Kingsley spoke to Chrystal about her book, being an entrepreneur and her thoughts on sex and relationships.

 

Dave Kingsley: How and when did you get interested in writing about sex, dating and relationships?

Chrystal Rose When I realized I had friends of friends and people I didn’t know contacting me for advice. Sometimes waking me up in the middle of the night to chat! I’ve always been a writer so it just made sense to start a blog.

 

DK: How is your writing process like? Are you always ‘on’ or do you do your writing at a specific time(s)?

Chrystal: When it comes to blogging it’s usually something about men or even women that piss me off. I get to thinking about it and am compelled to write.

 

My other work is done by sheer force. I tell myself I will sit in a chair until my brain hurts. It’s nice when that doesn’t happen after 10 minutes!

 

DK: What is the hottest topic in sex these days?

Chrystal: I think that horrible piece of garbage 50 shades has started an onslaught of BDSM blogs/stories/books/gossip. It’s definitely hot, I just kind of hate that it’s getting attention from a book that looks like it was written by a 3rd grader. No offense to 3^rd graders!

 

DK: For you, what’s the best thing about sex?

Chrystal: I love that there is no other way to be closer to another human being. Oh yeah, and oral. Giving and especially receiving. Love them both!

 

DK: What do you think of porn? Is it helpful for men and women who are thinking of spicing up there sex lives?

Chrystal: I don’t really care about porn. I’ve watched it and enjoyed it but I don’t need it or necessarily want it. I think now and then it can be hot for couples to use it but I think when it comes to solo missions porn desensitizes people more than it spices things up.

 

It’s not that hard to introduce things into the bedroom or come up with new things to try. Enthusiasm goes a long way. I’d rather have sex with someone who’s excited to have sex with me and is super into it than someone who is going to mechanically toss me around in 45 positions because he saw it in a porn flick. Or jackhammer me. No thanks!

 

DK: You published a book called Unfaithfully Yours: Confessions of a Cheating Bitch earlier in this year? Can you tell us a little bit about it?

Chrystal: Basically I was 19 when I met this total idiot, who I call Sharky in the book. I was with him for 6 years and slowly began to fall off the faithful wagon, even after we got engaged.

 

I humorously (because what better way to tell a story?) share my indiscretions as chronologically as I can remember with some tips, dos/don’ts and blog style advice thrown in.

 

I decided to tell the story because most women won’t. Deny, deny, deny!

 

DK: You have mentioned some of your idols are Bethenny Frankel, Chelsea Handler, and Patti Stranger. Can you tell us how they have inspired you and your writing career?

Chrystal: Across the board the way I speak is outspoken. I don’t have a brain to mouth filter and that’s what I love about all three of these women the most. They have all achieved a sort of success I admire and never had to worry about watching their mouths. I can’t help it, I’m brutally honest.

 

Bethenny is such a solid businesswoman. She has really created her own success and on so many levels—even before she was on The Real Housewives, but when she was she turned the opportunity into more success. I love that. I always try to capitalize on every opportunity.

 

Chelsea is an amazing comedian and her books in turn are hilarious. When I was performing comedy a few years back she was the first female in comedy I felt validated my style.

 

Patti besides the mouth thing has the relationship/dating advice down pat. People tell me all the time that I remind them of her. (Usually when I’m yelling at them tough love style.)

 

DK: What are some projects you are currently involved in?

Chrystal: I actually just started my own marketing company so I’m pretty busy! I was very lucky to land a huge client and we’ll be national within the next 9 months. I’d also like to eventually start a mentorship program for girls to inspire them in business and give them a female role model to look up to.

 

As for writing I’m in the midst of another memoir. This one will be based on my time spent in an evil boarding school. Readers will be horrified.

 

I also plan to finish an erotic fiction novel I’d had in the works for some time.

 

DK: Are there any books you are currently reading about sex or relationships? If so, which ones and what are learning from them?

Chrystal: No actually, I’ve been reading a massive amount of fiction lately. I practically swallowed the Hunger Games trilogy whole. The only non-fiction I read recently is INC and other articles related to business.

 

Besides the fact that my love/sex life is amazing, books on the subject tend to bore me. It’s like, I know—I get it. Not being arrogant but I think we all know what we should/shouldn’t do we just say screw it and do what we want instead.

 

DK: What is the best relationship advice you have for men out there?

Chrystal: Know your woman speaks a different language than you. You speak logic, she speaks emotion. You will never understand how she feels because you can’t, you just need to understand where she’s coming from.

 

Women expect men to be mind readers—if she’s upset and expects you to know why, gently explain to her that you can’t read her mind, you don’t know how you upset her but you’d like to know so you can correct it.

 

Women really just want to feel like you’re listening to them and that you care about their feelings rather than be annoyed by them.

 

DK: What is the most typical question(s) you get asked about sex when it comes men and women?

Chrystal: Does size matter? YES OKAY, YES.

 

DK: What are your thoughts on the novel Fifty Shades or Grey? Do you think it was a positive thing for people’s sex lives and relationships out there?

Chrystal: See my comments above. Seriously, it was trash. A Twilight fan fiction piece turned into a non-vamp, melodrama with a “heroine” so flat you can easily pop yourself into her role and an antagonist who couldn’t possibly exist. Unrealistic–Virgins don’t just come the first time especially when they’ve never even masturbated and I actually got bored through a couple of the sex scenes waiting for them to be over. At points I felt like if I read the words “inner goddess” one more time I was going to stab myself. Simply excruciating. From what I heard it has created a spike in people’s sex lives—good for them! Seriously, whatever works.

 

DK: What do you think of ‘mommy porn’ that spawned from Fifty Shades phenomena?

Chrystal: I think the more America sheds the “prude image” it so badly wishes to have the better off we’ll be. We’re a country of total pervs that doesn’t want anyone to know. It’s weird. I think it’s great more women are embracing their sexuality than running from it. It’s also great for (good) erotica writers getting the exposure they deserve.

 

DK: Marketing and branding are quite important in being successful in the business world. What are some things you do to get your name and expertise out there?

Chrystal: I use twitter and Facebook mainly but have had a hard time keeping up with much else because I’ve been so focused on getting my business career off the ground. One of the biggest things I make sure I do is respond. If fans find me on twitter or send me a Facebook message I always reply. I never want anyone to think that I think I’m on some pedestal. I enjoy the interaction—one of my best friends actually started out as a reader of my blog!

 

DK: Do you have any fetishes? If so, what are they?

Chrystal: That’s one secret I’ll never tell [laughs] But I do like a man to take charge. I make decisions all the time as a businesswoman so the last thing I want to do is come home and run the show. I love taking off my cape and putting down my sword and letting my man run things.

 

DK: What do you love about being an entrepreneur and being a businesswoman?

Chrystal: There’s SO much I love about it. First I love the industry I’m in. Alcoholic beverages are probably the most fun and lucrative industries to be in. At the end of the day we’re selling happiness in a bottle, how can you not love that?

 

I also love management. In my last position I managed a local team of girls as well as several managers in the region. My favorite thing was empowering the management and problem solving with them. I’m SO excited to start building teams for my new company and having girls all over the country work for me.

 

Being a woman in business is amazing and at times really tricky. I think I’m underestimated a lot which is annoying but ultimately I look that much better when I come through. I also have to have a balanced combination of pretty with tomboy. I call that side of me Business Barbie. She’s fun, blonde and bubbly but knows what she’s talking about and can put down more beer than most guys she works with.

 

DK: What is something that people don’t know about you?

Chrystal: I think a lot of people don’t realize how calculating I am. I think I come off as some reckless, spontaneous girl that just goes with the flow and does whatever she wants but I consider everything I do. I think about risks and rewards and consequences and weigh everything out before I make a decision.

 

Or how caring. A lot of people think I’m just some badass who doesn’t care about anyone, but if I call you a friend I’ll do just about anything to help you. My heart is endless for the people I love.

 

Be sure to connect with Chrystal at her Blog www.xtalrose.com to read about her new company: Dollhouse Marketing. Chrystal’s Twitter is: @Xtal_Rose