Unfortunately, for Joseph Corlett, a 57-year-old husband cum self-employed contractor, when he wrote in his essay titled “Hot for Teacher” – an homage to the 1984 Van Halen song by the same name – about his MILFtastic composition instructor Pamela Mitzelfeld, pictured below, things didn’t go as well as they do in your average porno.

So what happened? Corlett was shot down, by Oakland University itself, under the charge of “intimidating behavior”, was suspended for three semesters, and threatened with criminal trespass should he step foot on the campus before the suspension finished.

Thankfully, Corlett stood up against the school’s ruling, and in good old American fashion of justice, filed a $2.2 million lawsuit for mental anguish and embarrassment from the suspension.

Now, having been in the same position as Mrs. Mitzelfeld prior to working as a writer in the porn industry (literally the same job, at the same level, and having been placed in the same interpersonal position, though the outcome I had with the student was very different ), I have to say, it’s all about fostering the creativity, even if you’re under the scope of a student’s unwanted advances. I mean, Corlett is obviously the next David Guterson, judging by his steamy prose:

“My first battle with the hot for teacher thing, aside from second grade, was fought in Composition I at Oakland Community College. She was blonde and attractive in the Meg Ryan kind of way which I usually don’t go for… I shouldn’t have taken her for Comp 2 but I couldn’t resist smart and pretty… Her skirt came unzipped in Comp 2 one day and her polka-dotted panties were exposed. I was a perfect gentleman and discretely told her to pull her sweater over. She smiled and thanked me. It is our delicious little secret,”

A doppelganger for Meg Ryan, for sure. And Corlett a perfect gentleman as well, the sort of gentleman who calls his penchant for upskirt viewing a shared “[FIRST PERSON PLURAL PRONOUN] delicious little secret”.

When asked about the essay after the suspension, Corlett says, “It’s highly complimentary.”

As I got older I realized that the teachers weren’t the only hot ones. In fact, schoolgirls could be even hotter. Their sexy little uniforms and the way their skirts are always just a little too short. Damn! It makes you just want to bend them over a desk and show them what they did wrong on their math quiz!

Of course, Ashlynn Brooke isn’t the only one who knows all about being a sexy teen temptress. Miss Audrey Bitoni has certainly seduced her fair share of teachers. In fact, it looks like she might be getting some after school attention from her teacher.

Turns out Audrey knows a thing or two about getting that easy A. Check out the blowjob she’s giving her teacher!

Of course, no good deed should go unrewarded. Audrey’s teacher does what we’ve all been waiting for since we first laid eyes on her: he screws her good.