When Saint Patrick’s not watching porno films on Orgasm.com, he’s looking for another redhead to fuck. This is Laura O’Laughlin. He met her at the Garden. She was trying to find Rajon Rondo because she’s always wanted to have a black baby. Fortunately for Rondo, she was escorted out of the Celtics game by security.

Sometimes Saint Patrick goes to the XXX titty bar downstairs from his place. There’s one stripper there, Brianna Brennan, she’s always good for a fuck. Her ginger hair looks pretty wild during sex. She does this thing with her hips that makes Saint Patrick shoot his green load in seconds.

This is Maggie Hogan. She’s a student at UMass. She’s kind of a wallflower until she gets some booze into her. After three beers she jumps on Saint Patrick’s dick and rides it like she’s auditioning for a porno. Sometimes she sings “Danny Boy” when she’s cumming. It sounds weird but Saint Patrick’s really into it.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! Do your part and fuck a redhead.

Born in Sutton, Alaska, this cold-weather maven enjoys anal sex and reading. She began her career as a porn star in 2006. Out of fear of being stuck with a dick up her butt for the rest of her life (or until she turned 32 which is ancient for a porn star), Ava Rose decided to get her education on. She enrolled in college and spent her nights getting her ass stuffed like a suitcase and her days getting her brain stuffed full of knowledge.

She has appeared in over 103 porno films. Being the anal sex specialist that she is, we recommend a viewing of any porno where her ass gets pummeled like the punching bag I destroyed at the gym the other day trying to impress a girl. Ava Rose, Orgasm.com salutes you and your hot Alaskan ass!

I was awakened this morning by heavy breathing. This was not your run of the mill snoring, this sound was akin to the noises an asthmatic pug emits after being walked. Not quite wheezing, not quite gasping for air, not quite human. I don’t even know if pug’s can have asthma but my friend has one and it’s always short of breath. Anyway, there was a noise coming from the other side of the bed and at first I just lay there mentally readying myself to face whatever poor asthmatic soul was sharing my bed. I tried to piece together the evening through a throbbing headache (I consumed a lot of liquor last night, probably on the same level as Keith Richards’ circa 1974). There was a blonde. She was flirting with me. She may have been one of the strippers. She had these XXX pasties on that shook when she danced. Yes! That’s the girl who’s beside me. I smiled and rolled over.

And then I screamed. It was not my proudest moment. My mother raised me well, or at least I thought she did until I screamed at a woman. You’re not supposed to do that. In my defense she wasn’t like the chicks I usually get busy with. I’m not shallow, I don’t always go for the airbrushed porno beauty like Avy Scott. I go for the babes that make me laugh and have big tits (okay, that’s a little shallow). Well, this chick had bit tits all right. She also had a giant fupa (fat upper pussy area), cankles and about 200 pounds on me. After hearing my bloodcurdling scream, the rhino stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

“Morning,” she grunted with a voice that can only be described as belonging to a professional cigarette smoker or Courtney Love.

“Did we?” I asked uncertainly.

“Fucking right we did!” She barked and looked at me playfully.

I ran to the bathroom to throw up. Again, not my proudest moment but this girl was unreal. Not only was she the largest woman I’d ever seen, she was also the most unattractive. My beer goggles must’ve been on in full force last night because there’s no way I’d have gotten busy with a chick like that under normal circumstances. I sent a group text to my entire crew demanding to know who let me go home with Pizza the Hut. I got mostly “LOL” and “HAHAHA SUCK IT BRO” responses until finally, I get this gem from Dumb-fries: “The linebacker you fucked is_____’s sister”. I don’t want to mention who this beastly woman is related to because he’s kind of been a hero of mine but let’s just say that he’s famous and makes action movies.

The moral of this story: Don’t drink everything that’s put in front of you at a bachelor party because you’ll end up having XXX porno sex with a hippo.

Ps, she’s still here. I can’t get her out of my bed. I’m in the living room now furiously typing out  this blog and she’s wheezing. FML.

Here’s the deal, vaginas are like snowflakes, each one is different. No matter what porno films will have you believe, chicks aren’t built the same and a lot of them don’t cum after four licks. It takes patience my friends, and plenty of it. Here are some tips that will make you a cunnilingus expert.

1. You cannot go down on a dry pussy. It’s akin to a piece of bread and the recipient of your tongue will not find it comfortable. Use your fingers to stimulate the area first. If not you’re going to exhaust all your energy trying to get her wet with your tongue. You don’t want to be down to the two minute warning and realize you’ll need to make a play really quickly.

2. Don’t pull the blankets over your head. Covert operations are for assassination plots on The West Wing. Are you trying to kill Qumari Defense Minister Abdul Sharif or eat some pussy? It gets hot under blankets, stay above the covers when you do some XXX licking.

3. I used to dive right in to the licking but I was told that girls like it when you tease them a little first. Start by tonguing everything but her clit. She’ll lose her mind like Spike Lee at a Knicks game and be begging for you get to the good stuff.

4. You’re about to make your XXX move onto the clit but first you have to isolate the playing field. If it’s level, i.e., there’s no hair then you’re good to go. If her bush looks like Questlove’s afro then you’re going to have to do some digging. Just make sure before you move your tongue into position that you’re not going to choke like Lebron in the 4th quarter on a natty mess of pubic hair.

5. Make the clit your bitch by showing that sucker who’s boss. Pretend the pussy is the other team’s offense and you’re trying to sack the fuck out of their quarterback. It’s a very sensitive area but you can put it in your mouth, flick it around with your tongue. If you get a penalty flag for roughing the passer, so be it.

6. There’s three seconds left and the other team is about to kick a field goal to tie up the game and send it into overtime. Call a time out and ice the kicker. When you notice that your lady is about to cum, remove your mouth from her pussy area and take a quick breather. She will go buck and try and push your head back into her end zone.

7. When you’re done get your team off the field pronto. The clit is very sensitive and needs time to recover after a serious tongue lashing. I also don’t recommend coming up for air and wiping your mouth like you’ve just had a spritz of Gatorade shot into it by a trainer and it’s dripping down your face. Be more gentle about the mouth wiping, some girls can take that the wrong way. Unless you’re going down on a porno star like Melanie Rios then you should probably film it and make a big production of wiping your mouth. And also please send me that XXX porno video. Great. Thanks.

When we are growing up, all we wanted to do was to rush home from school to watch the cartoons that were on television then. When we got a little older, we rushed home to watch some soap operas or maybe the afternoon movie. Later on, we began to become interested in dance shows, sporting events, or some of the prime time action adventure selections. When we were finally so called adults, we liked to watch the news shows, a good movie, or of course a sporting event. Well, when we finally became adults, most of us also liked to watch a good porno movie or stag film as they used to be called. Unfortunately finding a porno movie or a stag film like this one with Jenna Brooks was not all that easy. We used to have to go to an Adult video store by the side of a deserted road, order something on line, or bite the bullet and go into a video rental store and risk running into someone we knew at the cash register as we were checking out our selection.

Well today things are a lot easier for us as far as access to many different adult entertainment options go. The Internet has more choices for us than we could possibly ever imagine or hope to make use of, and there is no waiting, no uncomfortable chit chat with a check out person, no scratches, bumps or pops in the films, and best of all no judgement whatsoever from any source at all. We can enjoy some adult entertainment at any time that we choose, and we can enjoy it with the childlike wonder of a kid watching the cartoons that they know will be there for them every day after school and every Saturday morning without fail.

Yes, you are all sorts of grown up now, but you can still always have some fun if you would like to.

Gone are the days of the raw and grainy porno movies that used to be viewed with a cumbersome projector in dingy, low ceilinged, panelled basements all across America. Today’s sex videos are well executed and evolved, and most have a very professional look and feel to them.

In the porn and sex industries, many producers of XXX movies have formed large corporations which encompass many different websites of many different kinky varieties. There is something to be found by every pervert seeking entertainment in 2011, and there is no need to scuttle off to a friends basement hoping that the latest reel to reel film will at least have a few somewhat attractive naked people rolling around in it. Today it is easy to find one or two websites that act as a sort of umbrella for so many related sites that those one or two may be all that you need to use as a springboard for your viewing choices. Or it may be that the one or two will become your favorites, and sometimes you will venture out to see what else you can come across out there in the world of cyber sex.

However you choose to manage your sex video experience, you will find more than enough superior quality material to keep you happy, horny and interested. Many of the stars in these flicks look just about perfect thanks to plastic surgery, good lighting, careful editing and the actors best friend, the old re-touch.

But, hey, if you want to keep it real, you can always just veer off to one of the amateur sites for a bit of variety.

One of the best ways for a woman to first approach stimulating a guy’s asshole is to begin while there is other intense pleasure happening for him. She might take his succulent cock head into her mouth. While she is sucking him, she might take the personal lubricant from the nightstand and begin to rub some gently around the outside of his anus. Make sure he is still distracted by the free porn at this point.

She can keep sucking, and while he is in the throes of pleasure, insert one finger slowly. No need to pound hard or do too much at all. He might be taken aback at first, but he is also likely to flow with how good that finger feels inside him while he is getting a blow job. Once he gets acclimated, she can move her finger gently to discover the best subtle motions that will stimulate his prostate (P-spot).

If he has never had an anal experience, he might thank her later.
A not-too- big vibrator might be another way to begin for the more adventurous man. Quite a number of guys are curious about what it must feel like to get fucked with a vibrator because they see porno clips of women loving it, or their girlfriends hitting their orgasm with the sensation. Stroking his cock and balls while introducing the lubed-up vibrator to his ass would be a good way to go. It is generally fun to insert it while it is off then turn on the vibrations and watch him jump with startled ecstasy.

Butt plugs and anal beads: These might be best for once he is familiar with the backdoor route. Often, inserting the number of anal beads you like inside you by yourself is a good thing to do, followed by sexual activity with the partner. Once a guy discovers these pleasures, he may fuck himself silly with a butt plug while his cock is inside his favorite pussy.

1. Acknowledge The Problem – One of the first steps in dealing with premature ejaculation is acknowledging the problem in the first place. In 2009, a medical conference in Paris defined premature ejaculation as the result of men who can’t last more than one to three minutes of sex before climaxing. This parameter was defined due to pressure from the pharmaceutical industry, which required an objective criteria in order to come out with medication targeting the problem at hand. As for the medical criteria, it is far less specific. Most doctors claim that anyone who can’t bring themselves to last as long as they’d want to is already suffering from premature ejaculation, so take that for all its worth.

2. The Usual Suspects – Despite doctors not having a concrete explanation for what causes premature ejaculation, studies lead them to believe that it has something to do with a man’s genetic build. Research indicates that the center of an orgasm, located in the brain, is far more sensitive in those suffering from premature ejaculation – making them ‘be over and done with’ a lot faster. But despite some men showing signs of a “sensitive spot” on the brain, that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t be able to last longer than their effected counterparts.

3. A Means Of Defense – Most men will tell you that at some point or another, try as they might, they can’t get a woman to orgasm. When that happens, they might be inclined to simply bring themselves to cum and call it a day. As a result, the woman will complain and think that her partner is not giving it his all. The next time around, the same thing is bound to happen. Women will blame men for their own lack of orgasm and if they’re already predispositioned to premature ejaculation, this is bound to further enhance his problem. So remember, before turning to a doctor, consider the possibility that your sex partner could have something to do with it.

For a country that’s hitting the third world mark you would think they would want to spend their money on more important things and just throw some free porn in front of the couples in hopes that would help them, but then again, that’s just my theory and what do I know?

I guess this weekend long seminar for elderly couples aims at “bringing back the joy in sex” and shows long time married couples how to get their partner’s libido going again.

It is totally rare for a Muslim majority country to be so open when it comes to sexual health but come on people, we’re talking about elderly couples here, not newlyweds! Do they really need to spend money on trying to get them back in the sack with each other? It’s not like they’re going to be making babies. The only thing they’re going to be making is bad visions in the minds of those who read this article and then picture two elderly Malaysians having nasty sex.

I guess for a country where three out of every 10 marriages are ending in divorce, officials are just trying to keep couples and families together by making courses available that are aimed at retaining intimacy.

Last year, the country organized a sexual relations course for newly married couples and encouraged them to bathe together and use exotic fragrances to “arouse sexual desire”. They have also asked local cosmetic firms to introduce specific perfumes that are targeted for couples because a lot of the couples that were divorcing said it was not only because of a lack of sex, but because of their partners bad body odor!

This whole initiative seems like something that you would watch in a movie, or even a really bad porno. But, it’s all real! I wonder if the American government would hop on this band wagon…

And though these birthdays do not fall in the heralded time of the Aries (we’re gonna rule the world someday), Taurus isn’t so bad either. Enjoy.

Marilyn Chambers (1952)
Patti Petite (1961)
Morgan Fairlane (1966)
Vicky Leander (1971)
Max Mikita (1974)
Jason Nichols (1977)
Shawna Edwards (1977)
Rebecca (1978)
Paola Rey (1981)
Gaby Marceau (1982)
Beatrice (1982)
Breanne Benson (1984)
Melody Max (1984)
Lena Juliett (1985)
Erin Marxxx (1985)
Veronika J. (1985)
Esmeralda (1986)
Tammy (1987)
Leony Dark (1988)