After polling my friends I received some very exciting responses. I changed their names to respect their privacy and yes, some of these celebrity sex photos are doctored or animated. Use your imagination. It’s not hard.

Mike – “I want to fuck the crap out of Rihanna and tape it.  I’d send it to Matt Kemp and be all like, ‘Hey I fucked your ex and I’ll keep fucking her until the Dodgers win the World Series.” (Mike loves the Dodgers. Once he saw ex-catcher Russell Martin in a restaurant and almost came in his pants. True story.)

Logan – “I want to see Nicole Kidman’s tits. It’s more of a curiosity thing because she looks like she’s made of soap and plus I’ve never had sex with a white girl before. I bet they’re all made of soap.” (Logan is African-American just in case you didn’t get that from his response.)

Tim – “I’m like, haunted by the opening scene in Blake Snake Moan where Christina Ricci is fucking Justin Timberlake. I need to correct that by having sex with Christina Ricci myself. Her tits are kind of weird and her ribs are always showing but whatever, maybe I’m secretly into anorexic chicks? Should I watch anorexic porn? Does that exist?” (Tim, Orgasm.com has XXX clips of skinny chicks getting fucked.)

David – “Charlize Theron. I need a reason to want to see her tits? They’re good tits.” (David has seen Monster a lot even though, Charlize is fat in it.)

Jensen – “I want to make a porn with the Gossip Girl girls. I dunno their names but I want to bang them both at the same time until I or they go blind.” (Their names are Blake Lively and Leighton Meester and I bet Lively’s an airplane blonde.)

Carly – “I bet Peyton Manning fucks dirty. I’d pay good money to see a porn with him and Tony Dungy sucking each other’s dicks. No wait. I wanna see Peyton bang Reggie Wayne. No, no, no, Jeff Saturday! Wait…” (Carly went on and on about wanting to see Peyton Manning fuck or get fucked by every member of the Indianapolis Colts. Then she teared up when she remembered that the Colts had released Manning. Poor girl.)

Sorry Carly, that’s all you get, a grainy pic of Peyton without a shirt. Hope you have room for it in your lady spank-bank.

With Leal’s extreme hotness, youth, and vacant eyes, we have to ask…with she be the next in the league of extraordinary mistresses to do porn?

The youthful Sarah Leal

Lets take a look at the factors for little miss Kutcher cock sucker. As far as being suitable for porn, she’s got it going on. She’s young, hot, has perky natural tits and if she had to fuck Kutcher, she definitely knows how to fake it.

Lets consider the past Hollywood mistresses that have done porn before this hot blonde. Consider Tiger Wood’s mistress Joslyn James, she was into sex movies before, but she certainly went full spunk ahead when the Tiger scandal struck.

There is also Jessie James and his mistress; the ink splattered, Nazi uniform wearing, whore bag, Michelle Bombshell McGee.

She wasn’t exactly wholesome before the sex scandal broke, but since then, she has made a mint  by showing her coloring book scrawled cunt to the world.

Looking at past mistresses in porno’s after a scandal, they  have had a shallow fall from grace. Sarah Leal’s history so far reveals little. Apparently she’s “involved” in one of Ashton Kutcher’s charities, but all that means is she has a job, she could be the coffee (or cream) girl.

Interestingly, she’s selling her story to the highest bidder, asking price? $ 250,000 grand. Considering her greed, we think there’s a pretty good chance  that she will do just about anything for money. Which means…Sarah Leal porn! Coming soon!

Notch up another hit for Vivid-Celeb imprint, the division which has earned fame and notoriety for popular movies featuring celebrities having sex, from Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee to Kim Kardashian, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty and Playboy Playmate and reality TV star Shauna Sand.

James, also known as Veronica Siwik-Daniels, carried on a long-running affair with Woods after meeting him at The Bellagio resort in Las Vegas, Nevada. She has disclosed numerous, now infamous, steamy text messages the two exchanged to arrange their trysts while he cheated on wife Elin Nordegren.

I can’t remember if she wants an apology too.

All seemed to be going well for Tiger Woods. He went to sex rehab. He moved back into the house. He began his expected golf comeback with the Masters. And then Elin got the hell out of Dodge and took the kids with her, ending up at the $2M swedish fixer-upper she’d bought when the shit hit the fan.

Why?

Seems Elin Nordegren had pretty much accepted the woe-full ways of her tempted husband, even when he handed her a list of 120 women he’d put together while in rehab, that he supposedly had relations with. A list that would include those we’ve gotten used to hearing about, like Kalika Moquin, Loredana Jolie, porn star Joslyn James and Jamie Jungers.

But it was a list that left off one very important name; Raychel Coudriet.

Coudriet, who is 22 and lives in the SAME gated Orlando-area community as the disgraced golfer, met Woods when she was just 14. She has accused him of “using and violating” her. They were neighbors but there isn’t any information yet about when exactly the “one night stand” occurred. I’m sure it will be investigated once this news hits the mainstream.

So that’s it. Divorce has become inevitable. Tiger got so close to getting everything back. Hell, even more close than he arguably deserved. Until the one name from his past came up that would drive his wife away.

Jooooocey.

Veronica Siwik-Daniels aka Joslyn James, adult film performer from 2007 – 2009, and star of a whole 18 film titles is at it again. You will recall how she earlier tried to garnish her 15 minutes of mainstream fame by attacking the entrepreneur who put the faces of the purported mistresses on golf balls, by claiming it was abusive. (Because when you hit a ball with a woman’s face on it what you really want to be doing is hitting the woman).

Now she’s calling her own press releases, claiming Tiger owes her an individual apology.

Wow. You’ve got some balls on you Joslyn. He needs to apologize to you in the same 13 minutes that he apologizes to his wife, his mom and his kids? Wow.

You know who deserves an apology? Me. That’s right! Me. You wanna know why? Because all day every day I write about porn and serve up lots and lots of free internet sex videos, and comment about internet sex videos and free porn. But that means I’m scouring the world, keeping up on what’s going on. And do you know what’s been going on foremost in the minds of everyone in the world? Tiger Woods.

I’m fucking sick of the whole story. I don’t think it was any of our business to begin with. If I see one more goddamn Tiger Woods headline I’m going to fucking scream!

So you hear that Mr. Woods? I’ll be expecting MY apology too. Directly. Face to face.

It would be sooo funny if he apologized to me before Joslyn James…