You should be getting all boned up thinking about a handjob from a hot girl with big tits. Some of my favorite free porn movies feature dicks getting sanded down by hot girls like Breanne Benson.

Who wouldn’t want to get their wiener yanked by a large breasted lady? Hell, she could have small tits or give the safest handjob ever and still get the job done. Men are easy to please. Give us football, give us a beverage with hops in it and give us a handjob. We’ll be fine. You could even blab about something we have no interest in like The Real Housewives of Sioux Falls while you’re giving us hand sex because as long as our Tug McGraw’s getting tugged, we don’t care what you say or who you are!

If we’ve learned anything from free porn movies it’s that men will cum from anything, blowjobs, sex and even handsturbation. (I made that up but let’s try and get it to catch on. I want people saying it all the way in Sioux Falls by the end of the day!) Men, the next time you’re about to have sex, get your partner to give you a handy. Women, the next time your man’s sitting on the couch watching the Redskins and Eagles, shove your dainty paws down his pants and make his redskin fly like an eagle with a hot handjob.

And though these birthdays do not fall in the heralded time of the Aries (we’re gonna rule the world someday), Taurus isn’t so bad either. Enjoy.

Marilyn Chambers (1952)
Patti Petite (1961)
Morgan Fairlane (1966)
Vicky Leander (1971)
Max Mikita (1974)
Jason Nichols (1977)
Shawna Edwards (1977)
Rebecca (1978)
Paola Rey (1981)
Gaby Marceau (1982)
Beatrice (1982)
Breanne Benson (1984)
Melody Max (1984)
Lena Juliett (1985)
Erin Marxxx (1985)
Veronika J. (1985)
Esmeralda (1986)
Tammy (1987)
Leony Dark (1988)