I’m very strange when it comes to my nudity and sex. Whether it’s on screen or in real life. It’s one of the reasons why I’m not a big strip club fan.

You see, to me it’s always been weird because nudity basically means sex. If someone is standing in front of me naked it’s because we’re about to have sex. If I’m looking at porn on my TV or my computer, it means sex is about to happen. Either with someone else or myself. Plain and simple.

Strip clubs have always struck me as being ridiculous because it’s obviously for entertainment purposes only, and if you find yourself breaking that “no touch” rule you’ll be in big, big trouble. Not a good idea. And we’ve all heard stories about the “Gold Room” etc., but I’m not going to go into the whole prostitution side of things. (Read: it does indeed happen, but if it does you can only consider yourself lucky and not part of the average, my friend. Unless you’re rich).

I’m just as weird about nudity in mainstream cinema. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good boobie shot as much as the next guy, but if asked what my preference is I’d go without. It makes me feel all funny inside and then I’m right back in the “strip club” mindset of wondering why I can’t touch them.

This is why softcore makes NO sense to me at all. If I’m going to watch someone fuck, then I want to WATCH someone fuck, and all that entails. Anything else is watered down to the point where it’s just plain boring. Two people holding each other and vibrating mercilessly for 10 minutes is about as exciting to watch as “The Price is Right.”

Which finally brings me to my point about G4.

The AEE was created by the porn community, for the porn community. It’s a great excuse to dress up and parade around just like the movie stars do. There’s a red carpet, limousines, expensive jewelry (or seemingly expensive jewelry), and banter with a multitude of paparazzi. It’s our favorite naked stars’ night to shine!

So really what is the point of watching the AEE on a basic cable station that, though catering to nerds and geeks alike, still won’t show the acres of boobie flesh that are unmistakably pulled out and displayed for all to see? And that’s just the boobie flesh we’re talking about. There is the propensity of seeing all kinds of things at the AVN awards that won’t make the editors cut. And porn stars are not especially known for their candidacy or sparkly clean mouths.

So take my advice. Check your local listings, starting today, to see when you’ll be able to order the AEE on Pay Per View. Or you can wait a little longer and check it out on Showtime when it’s also made available. You’ll be glad you did. Don’t suffer softcore syndrome and buy into a more Disney-fied version of the truth. It’s much more fun this way.

But then the Sex Robot was announced.

I heard about it first at AEE. Then the online mags started writing about it. Then it popped up in Conan O’Brien’s monologue. So now I have been forced to tackle this subject head on, if you get my drift.

Here’s what I know:

Greg Hines, a former employee of Bell Labs created Roxxxy, a sex robot with artificial intelligence (A.I.) that can be programmed with one of five personalities: Wild Wendy, the crazy whore; Frigid Farrah, the exact opposite; S&M Susan, which speaks for itself; Mature Martha, think “experienced” more than saggy; and Young 18+, the setting everyone will use the most, but not admit to. Roxxxy has cables running out of her back which attaches to a laptop that can download software updates, program custom personalities (allowing “wife swapping” later via a online portal) and acts as a command center for all of her functionality. Roxxxy the TrueCompanion will cost between $7k – $9k, with a subscription model still being worked out.

In doing my research due diligence I have found nothing that speaks to my questions concerning, what I believe to be, the most important aspects of a SEX robot. The SEX. Nowhere could I find examples, either in picture form or written description, of what it would be like to fuck Roxxxy. Maybe this is because Mr. Hines has taken a different approach with his unique vision. Apparently the “personalities” include the robot’s ability to interact and engage in conversation, starting with a library of pre-programmed words that builds over time with use and software updates.

My take on this:

The idea of a robot used primarily for sex is a forgone inevitability. We found ourselves closer to the future when word of the Real Doll emerged. If Roxxxy was an advancement of that idea, with a foundation of quality and realism, like the Real Doll but with added features, this would be some really big news. But it’s not. Why on earth would I want my sex robot to talk? Isn’t that the reason for having a robot instead of a wife? Less noise? Why aren’t there diagrams and spread sheets showing the development and creation of the state of the art robot’s vagina, breasts, asshole and mouth? Does the pussy feel real or doesn’t it? If you want a realistic A.I. start with whether or not she screams while being fucked or moans when you cum. And for god’s sake make her at least look like a human being instead of something you blow up. Take a tip from other sex toys and offer a Vanessa Leon, Traci Lords or Sasha Grey edition.

Until then I know where I can find my free full length porn movies , XXX downloads, adult videos and hot sexy smut rags for my pleasure. It may not be a flying car but at least i know it works.

In her address Grey stated that the porn industry was missing a “solidarity” that was prevalent in the 70′s and 80′s. Seeming to dismiss this feeling as cynical she still entreated that the community come together, leaving it’s societal establishment behind. Adding “Obviously, people want to watch adult films. It’s accepted, but it’s so easy to trash and villify. It’s come a long way, but we have an opportunity to bring it even further, and then even further than that 10 years from now.”

Sasha Grey – Sexy Porn Ambassador? Or future Nobel Peace Prize winner?

Ok here’s the real reason for the post:

Kimberly earned her Best Actress award for her performance in The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody, while Tori, the big winner of the night (she brought home 5 awards), stole the highly coveted Female Performer of the Year.

Touting an impressive list of accomplishments in her career, Kimberly has starred in 237 titles. She began in 2003 as an aspiring 20 year old, and is now also directing films (she has 4 under her belt).

Newer on the scene but by no means less motivated is Tori Black. She has amassed a whopping 156 adult titles in her few short years, but starred in the mega-blockbuster The 8th Day (the big winner of the night), which won 7 awards including Best Video Feature, Best All-Girl Threeway Sex Scene, Best Videography/Cinematography, Best Makeup, Best DVD Extras, Best Packaging Innovation and Best Online Marketing Campaign—Individual Project. It was this performance that nailed her as the Female Performer of the Year.

Thank you girls, for your continued success and for keeping your unabashed sexuality up there for all of us to enjoy!